Fifty Shades Of Grey – The Movie

I know, I know, you’ve heard the hype, seen the steamy trailers and billboard adverts, you’ve heard the sexy song with the lovely Ellie Goulding……no doubt seen the cake on Graham Norton and got yourself all fired up for a sizzling movie. Well, having seen it last night, it pretty much can be summed up by the reaction of the entire audience at the closing of the lift doors in the final scene…………”WHAT?”
Yup, that’s what I thought too. While it brushes on the BDSM genre, anyone “into” that would have classed it as a training video for a newby. Most of the graphic stuff to be found in the original book wasn’t there and the only really shocking scene is towards the very end (I’ll not spoil it for you) but even that is more by implication and imagination than actually shown. It kind of ambles along in the guise of a lust story, yes, that’s lust rather than love, since the lead character Christian Grey doesn’t do love, so he says. It gets to be predictable and repetitive at times with almost identical scenes in the “Play Room” he has in his multi-million pound pad. If anything, it was a bit more like a slightly raunchier Pretty Woman than anything else, working girl meets billionaire bachelor and tries to change him throughout their relationship while benefiting in more ways than one.
I didn’t come away from the film with any more curiosity about the Domination/Submissive notion than I had when I went in and I struggle to see what the fascination is, or how hitting someone that hard can bring pleasure to either party. Maybe it was me, but in the movie, Christian Grey can buy any car he wants and yet, he has a V10 Audi R8, then a V8 Audi A6 and he buys yet another Audi convertible for his submissive girlfriend…………ummmmm do ya think Audi paid a heap of cash to have their cars featured???? While there are some nude scenes, there is nothing too untoward and you won’t get to see Christian in the buff either, aside from the rearward view, I should imagine a few of the lasses won’t be too pleased. It’s a little one-sided on the nudity for a man with such an “open” mind as Christian.
I did think though, that it was great to have “normal” looking actors and actresses in the lead roles, neither were photo-shopped body wise, not an implant in sight. In my humble opinion, they will need to make a sequel but I doubt that having seen the first one, that I’ll need to see the next, as I suspect a lot of people will be thinking. I think to have made such a graphic book on what is still a very taboo genre of human existence, it needed to be X-RATED and not to have been watered down so much that it took away the spirit of the original E.L. James series of novels.

Overall, you won’t need the tissues for crying into…..or otherwise ;’)

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